What If Hypotheses of the PJ series with Morals
by JadedVegetableWarUnion
Summary: A one-shot about hypothses for the Percy Jackson series with morals included. I hope you laughed/chuckled/chortled/giggled/snickered/sniggered.


**¥-WHAT IF... (Morals and life lessons included)**

**1. What if Percy didn't eavesdrop on Chiron/Mr Brunner...**

He still would have. Period.

Moral: Percy is ADHD, so not eavesdropping is basically impossible for demigods.

**2. What if Nico didn't play Mythomagic etc. etc...**

Nico viewed the camp with dull eyes. He saw camp that would soon be crushed by forces of Kronos. A son of Hades shouldn't be here- it wasn't right. He saw pegasi that did nothing but fly. He saw children doing nothing but viewing their reflections. He saw children talking about fish ponies. He saw children picking the lock to the camp store. He saw... COULD IT BE TRUE? Nico ran up to an empty pit.

"Uh, you don't mind if I summon the dead right?" he asked Chiron.

Chiron turned, distracted. "I'm sorry what?" he asked, smiling.

"Never mind," Nico quickly replied, furtively checking around that no-one had heard him. He plunged his arm into his bag, rummaging for something. He pulled out three bags of Happy Meals with a six pack of Coke. He emptied the contents of each accordingly and started chanting Greek mixed with English: "Justin-Bieber-Was-Found-Alive-The-Dead-Shall-Taste-Again..." Real depressing stuff.

The mixture in the pit bubbled, frothed and rose as the air shimmered around him as spirits rose from the moist earth. Chiron's smile faded. "What on Olympus are you _doing, _Nico?" he cried out.

"Summoning stuff," he replied.

Chiron opened his mouth to say something when someone barrelled past him, coming to a screeching halt next to Nico. "Summon PONIES!" Tyson shouted.

Nico opened his mouth, about to express some wonderful colourful language that his father taught him.

Moral: He would summon dead people more often resulting in a chaotic new breed of ponies.

**3. What if Percy tried crushing the giant crab under his foot for real, like Hercules...**

The lump with the orange shirt under the crab quivered for a second before going still.

Life lesson: **CENSORED**

**4. What if Leo did fight Khione with breath mints...**

"HE'S TOO AWESOME!" Jason cried out, backing away, shielding his eyes.

Leo grinned. "To me, earthlings! Bask in my glory!" he joked.

He launched a breath mint at Khione. Her eyes widened in fear.

"No," she managed to say. It smacked aginst her forehead. Where it had touched, a little sticker appeared. Slowly, it began eroding her body.

"NO!" she cried out, writhing but it was too late.

The advertisements for Eclipse mints slowly wrapped her body. Within seconds, she had been mummified as a lifesize Eclipse poster.

Let this be a lesson to us kids: Magic breath mints; they always work.

**5. What if Percy tried destroying Talos' innards in Bianca's place...**

"Uh, where's the OFF switch?" Percy asked nervously. He pulled out his phone and dialled a number written on the inside of the prototype of Talos.

"Hello," answered an automated voice, "Welcome to Haphaestus Customer Service..."

Meanwhile, outside, Thalia and Grover were screaming as Talos romped around, attempting to start his pancake recipe. Bianca and Zoe shot silver arrows that bounced off his golden hide.

**2 HOURS LATER- **Percy hung up in disgust. "I hate Haphaestus' rubbish customer service,"he muttered. He randomly pulled a wire which opened a hatch above him. He climbed out, squinting against the sun's glare. He noticed four _things_ squished on the desert floor.

Moral: Customer service for all big companies suck.

**6. What if Percy Jackson played FPS games...**

Percy continued talking with the red-headed mortal until he heard it- the chatter of teeth that was unmistakable.

Rachel's eyes widened. "Bathroom! Now!" she ordered.

He didn't like it but he went in anyway. He didn't like his chances against eleven skeleton warriors with no respawn time. It was unfair.

"Oh my God! I mean, did you see that guy? I can't believe it, he tried to kill me with a sword. I can't believe you didn't catch him!" she said in her rapid-fire speech.

They chattered excitedly and ran off. "They're gone," Rachel whispered.

Percy got out only to see them turn around to face me."Dammit! Freaking spawn-killers! Campers!" he ranted, running off. "Noobs!"


End file.
